A Personal Journey
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably wondered, “Why do I keep doing things I know aren’t pleasing to God?” Some days, I feel like I’m making progress. Other days, I find myself falling into the same old mistakes. It can be discouraging, and honestly, a little confusing.
But I’m not alone in this. Even Paul admitted, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15, NIV). That’s pretty relatable. It’s comforting to know that even someone like Paul struggled with this.
Sin doesn’t just happen out of the blue. It usually starts as a thought—a small idea or desire—that grows if I don’t deal with it right away. James puts it this way: “Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1:14–15, NIV). Looking back, I can usually trace my actions to a single thought left unchecked.
Facing this isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Sometimes, the hardest sins to surrender are the ones I still want to keep—pride, anger, certain habits. But as long as I hang onto them, I stay stuck.
That’s why I’ve learned to pray, “Search me, God, and know my heart… See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23–24, NIV). Admitting where I need help is the first step toward real change.
I’m learning to ask myself: Why am I doing this? Where did this start? What am I hoping to get from it?
And most importantly, have I really given it to God?
The Christian life isn’t about pretending we have it all together. It’s about being honest—with ourselves and with God—and letting Him help us change. I’m still on this journey, but every time I bring my struggles to God, I find a little more hope. Maybe you will, too.
Closing Prayer
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father,
We come before You, acknowledging the truth of the words we have just read and reflected upon. We confess that we, too, struggle with sin. Like Paul, we often find ourselves doing what we do not want to do, and failing to do what we know is pleasing to You. We understand how temptation can begin as a thought and grow into actions that lead us away from You.
Lord, it is hard to let go of the things we sometimes still desire, even when we know they are not good for us. We ask You to search our hearts, as the Psalmist prayed. Reveal any offensive way in us, any hidden sin or desire that keeps us from fully following You.
Give us the strength, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, to resist temptation and to surrender every part of our lives to Your will. Help us to be honest with ourselves and with You about our struggles. Lead us in the way everlasting, transforming us day by day into the likeness of Your Son, Jesus Christ.
Thank You for Your grace and mercy, which are new every morning. Thank You for the hope we find in bringing our struggles to You. May we continue to lean on You, trusting that You are faithful to complete the good work You have begun in us.
In Jesus’s name, we pray.
Amen.